De Idiomas y demás!

Learning other languages are my goal... actually, I've recently found that is what I like the most... and it is a opportunity to go with it as a carreer, but there's not languages as a carreer... at least, there's not in the country I live... so this freaks me out!!

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I was 16 when I finished the high school... at the beginning, I didn't know what I'd do with my life... I mean, what carreer I'd like to study... I just knew one thing: I didn't want to go to the college. I was freaked out about the admission exam (ok, I don't know how to call it... but in spanish, at least in my country, that's the name we use to call it) to get in to the university... why? because in my whole school life, all teachers and principals had talked about this exam... so hard that I didn't want to go for it. For that, I started to work in a store near my home... that year was nice, I was young and shouldn't have been worried about my future. 

Before that year ended (I'm talking about the year 2007), my mother told me about a carreer which was about tv production and those kind of things: communication sciences! I talked with her friend's daugther who was studying this carreer and she convinced me that was a good option. So, the follow year (2008) I gave the admission exam (I'm still not knowing how I should call it) and achieved get in to college. It was a nice university... it wasn't so big or renamed as others, but it had the latest equipments and good teachers to give us the knowledge we needed.

Before that year ended, I retired because I felt it was not what I wanted to do (actually it was because I didn't find friends to share with)... so the follow year (2009) I started to work again, this time as marketing practitioner. That year I began to meet gay people also and got great friends... friends whom I'm still keeping in touch with. Anyway, I was about to study commercial aviation, but I declined and returned to communications. In that semester, I felt I was recently studying that carreer... because we started to make short films and radio sketchs.

I met good friends whom I used to work at the moment to form the short-films groups. Semesters was comming and we were still going together... until the year 2011 when I left the semester because I started to work in a call-center in the early morning hours. When I returned to college, I'm talking about in the half of that year, everything had changed... programs, that we used to use, had changed and  it was too complicated to me learning the new ones... I didn't get to make any friends to stay with either and that made me feel so bad. I repeated and had to did the whole semester again, but at least I met better people in that new semester.

The follow year (2012) I found a job in a movie theater... it was on afternoons, so I had mornings to study... but I gave more importance to work than to study... besides I realized I didn't want to study communications any more... because I'd gotten to hate journalism. I told it to my dad, but he didn't listen to me and convinced me to continue with it... I tried it, but didn't have success. I realized what I really wanted to do was teaching... but what could I teach if I didn't study education before? And after thinking twice and more times, I realized what I could teach was English... so I decided to go to live to USA for practicing speaking English (for that I was in New York the half of 2013)

I can't say I had success because I was in a place where there were not people to meet and have a talk... but at least, I had great experiences. Anyway, when I returned, my parents had found I was gay and this was a big problem because my dad stopped supporting me... on the other hand, I met L and fell in love with him so bad, but he didn't and we separated... this lead me to a deep depression. I felt too bad... the fact L was finishing his carreer and I didn't, made me feel worse... I felt I was not enough to anything, but a  friend of mine, who had been studying psychology, helped me to find my way... and my way was languages... I realized that languages are what I like the most... not just only english, also others. 

But the depression because L was too deep that forced me to ask for help... but it was not just L, also was the fact I'm 23 and hadn't finished a carreer... I felt (and sometimes I'm still feeling) a nobody (professionally talking). For that, in January I was not studying, but this month I enrolled to english class and not just only on that... I retook portugues class too porque eu gosto muito dessa língua e quero falar-o também... ademais meu irmão morou no Brasil por um ano e eu posso praticar com ele (quando ele voltar dos Estados Unidos). Eu sabia que aprender dois idiomas ao mesmo tempo era uma locura, mas eu quis porque o inglês é um idioma que eu tenho muito avançado, assim que eu não teria muitas complicações... mas lamentavelmente não foi assim, a depressão voltou para mim e eu não pude terminar bem os estudos. 

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Gusto muito das línguas... I like languages a lot... me gustan muchos los idiomas, pero lastimosamente no hay una carrera universitaria de idiomas... la única que he encontrado afín es la de traducción y yo me voy más a la enseñanza que a la propia traducción. Esto me jode, puesto que al tener 23 años y no haber acabado una carrera (pudiéndola haber terminado hace tiempo) me frustra... sobretodo porque en los institutos donde enseñan idiomas, estudio con gente que sí está terminando una carrera universitaria y de su parte viene la clásica pregunta: ¿y tú qué estudias?

Aunque como me dice la psiquiatra: no todo es universidad! Hablar de idiomas... de la fonética de un idioma... inclusive hablar del idioma español... son cosas de total interés para mí, sólo me jode no poder encontrarla como carrera universitaria. Quiero aprender más idiomas de los que estoy estudiando... alemán, catalán, japonés (yo sé como escribir en hiragana y katakana perfectamente) entre otros... soy bueno aprendiendo y enseñando idiomas... solo necesito práctica y sobre todo no ponerme tan nervioso al hablarlo... o mejor dicho, no ser tan perfeccionista y sentir que nunca voy a lograrlo!